My weekend away

Here is a post I wrote over 2 weeks ago....my computer crashed in the middle and I lost a bunch of what I wrote. I was so frustrated I never came back to it....here it is now.

You would think that a weekend away would do me good. You'd think it would soothe my nerves to get away from all that is wrong here. To be out in the country, on my grandma's farm. You'd be wrong. I knew it would be hell, and it was. I haven't been there for an overnight visit since last Christmas, and there's a reason. But I also knew that I had to go or my grandma's feelings would be hurt worse than they already are, so I went.



My grandma turned 87 yesterday. She owns 4 horses and still feeds and waters them by herself every day. That means hauling 50 lb. bags of horse feed, and getting down 50 lb. bales of hay from the hay mow all by herself. No one ever believes she's as old as she is-she looks at least 10 years younger. Unfortunately, she does not *feel* any younger. Her spine and her neck are decaying from arthritis and she is in terrible amounts of pain from that and many other health issues she's dealing with. That pain and her natural tendency toward serious depression and worrying make spending time with her difficult. I love her more than I can say, but being around her is so depressing and sad. Not to mention stressful.

My mom ended up being in the hospital from Saturday evening until after we left due to problems with the arm she broke back in May. It's not healing correctly and she had another surgery on it in early August. So she missed the whole weekend with us....



So, this weekend one of my 21 year old niece's babies turned 3. The other little girl turns 2 on August 22.