Reading

I love to read. I really, really love to read. After Abby was diagnosed, 11 years ago, I stopped reading for a long, long time. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't concentrate on plot lines, and almost all fiction seemed so insipid, I just couldn't stand to see it. I knew REAL pain. My daughter was being lost to me, so reading fictional accounts of people going through "tough times" made me scoff at their pain.

Luckily, with time, I have mellowed and can now enjoy reading again. I go on jags where I may read 5 books in a week, then nothing for a month....but I am always happiest when I have one or two books "going" at the same time. Right now I am reading The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain. I love him, and I love chef/kitchen/foodie books. I don't know what half the foods are that he talks about, but I still like reading about his adventures. I just finished reading The Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland. She writes fictionalized accounts of what an artist went through to create a famous work of art. I love Renoir and Monet and the Impressionists, so I really enjoyed this book, even though it's mostly fake. :)

I also have A Brief History of the Universe by Stephen Hawking waiting in the wings. Not sure I can wrap my brain around it, but I've been meaning to try for oh, a decade now. LOL.

The baby had a major fit of moving around yesterday afternoon. I was so glad, because he really is very calm and I can go most of a day without feeling anything. Then today so far, almost nothing. I know it's still early, and that I'll regret saying this, but I want to reach the point where I can reliably feel him moving OFTEN throughout the day. Even SEE him moving. I don't know why I am so paranoid, but I am very, very aware of the fact that just because we've made it this far, there is no guarantee that we'll end up with a baby in our arms. That would kill me, and John, and our families. This having a baby is scary stuff. I should've done it all back when I was 28. :-/